Monday, October 19, 2009

Gossip Girl: As Real as Bachelor Party Bongs

This week Gossip Girl played with our hearts. First-- Where the heck was Scott!?? Really writers? Really? Him not being there was almost as bad as the constant references to "Welcome Back Kotter" Mugs. What is "Welcome Back Kotter"? Chuck basically came out as bi to Blair. Then I was almost certain he was holding the door of his apartment mostly closed to her because he'd hooked up with the NYU alumnus, but he was all alone. I thought Nate was helping Serena and he turned out to be using her. Then I thought Carter would come back to Serena and he dumped her. I thought Blair was victorious over Vanessa, who I hate so much... everyone thinks she's so innocent-- finally they see her as the manipulative, lying bitch she really is. Then Blair blew it. Of course the stupid Humphrey-Bass family ends up happy in the end.

As real as the Chuck Bass Gay Kiss:

"You think I've never kissed a guy before?" No, no I didn't. Actually, I knew it all along, unlike Blair who it looks like the writers are setting up to be scorned by Chuck and another man.... Only someone at least half-gay could dress like Chuck, especially at his age (the writers also gain points here for syncing back up with the books)

The Buckley Boy has his collar popped as he really would... Oil moneyed Texans are uber Preppy cliches

The photoshopped picture of the bong and Trip
+1 (Because it is totally plausible that a picture like that could be betting material between Nate and the Buckleys and fooled me as much as Serena)

All of Vanessa's Mom's Lines- My god, she would be organizing a cheese workers union in Burlington, and "I don't use sugar; I only use agave"... I had been wondering forever who in the world buys that stuff from Whole Foods

Serena's Mom's lines and expressions were perfect once again- her honest advice to Blair, fake responses to Olivia and awkward reactions towards Vanessa's mom were amazing


Faker than Texans playing poker in their half-empty random giant warehouse (in New York)...

Where is Scott and why is there absolutely no mention of him??

There is no freshman toast given by a freshman at NYU or any college for that matter (please correct me if I'm wrong)... What imaginary tradition is this, seriously? And why would a 25 year old looking alumnus get to choose the speaker? Nobody is that distinguished relative to other alumni at that age.
-15 since the episode centers on this plot

Why is Serena wearing that evening dress to visit Nate? As if she knows what the night will behold... Not a chance. No real version of Serena would be clueless enough to wear that dress during the day with no expectation of wearing it at night. Whatever Serena was wearing to the office, she should have gone home and changed. Ugh, maybe she does belong at Brown. Her lack of showering (apparent in that hair) suggests so

I'm not sure if how Blair refers to her new NYU minions is awesome or reviling-ly fake... nuetral

Comes out well in the negative. Sorry writers.


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